To most, there is an inner secret daemon that cuts right to the core of ones self. That makes them feel weak or less than, to me that is asking for Help.
Asking for help is the Hardest thing I can do, asking for help, be it with a general life query or something much harder for example, something to do with my health. It makes me feel weak and powerless to ask for help as i am letting someone or something exert their knowledge or power/influence over me for a un-certain about of time.
I guess this means i am also a control freak, and that is true, following the amazing yet hard last two years, since i started my #RebuildRob Transformation, year three hasn’t been the best its been intermittent with the training, my food intake hasn’t been the best and i have gained some weight back and that makes me feel weak and getting myself out of my self-destructive path of falling back down my Rabbit Hole of self-loathing and eating Way too much sugar, took me down that path again & i thought, this is it. This self revolving path of circles of self destruction, self loathing will be my life going forward and will be my life forever.
However i reached yet again another breaking point and re-turned to the Gym a place i found home at the start of RebuildRob, my motivation to go every day (like i was at one point) is yet to return and ASKING FOR HELP getting back on track with my transformation from my Personal Trainer, Ant made me break this cycle of as said above Self Destruction and Self Loathing.
Not everyone loves what they see in the mirror, be it naked or clothed, but i will ultimately love the body i’ve got. I know I should be the MOST COMPASSIONATE person to myself but everyone is hard on themselves in life the most, aren’t they?
This just can’t be me?