This has got to be one of the biggest conundrums of anyones life, Expectations vs. Reality.
Following the loss of Tess a few weeks ago, I had the expectation that the circle of friends i had would all circle around me to pass on their condolences but no-one really did, people said that they forgot to message me or just didn’t even bother. This is the reason i spoke about being your no1 fan on my last blog.
However, in a wider context it brings in to light the whole thing of Expectations vs. Reality and building coping mechanisms to help you when the expectations definitely don’t meet the reality of the situation you are in or what you are currently going through.
Expectations can be as big or as small as you make them, and the coping mechanisms need to be 100x as big to ensure that you don’t get hurt in any event, with the expectation matching what you think would happen or being sorely disappointed by the real outcome aka the reality.
In any event it can definitely be a learning curve, but the expectation is a ‘everything will be fine and you’ll be ok, pretty bright and like a cartoon’ basically what is drilled into you from childhood, but you really can’t go through life thinking everything is going to be like a scripted cartoon or sitcom.
Life is hard and it comes with extreme knocks and really low points, thats why some become jaded and always see the negative in any situation, i refuse to do that in this circumstance, however it has let me start to build coping mechanisms, as we only have ourselves to rely on at the end of the day. Its let me re-asses where my relationships are with the people i though i was the closest with.
I always wanted a huge social circle you see in the reality shows such as Made in Chelsea or The Old Way is Essex and a group of male friends that i can rely on for advice or support, but that definitely isn’t the reality i live in. Thats why i mentioned in no1 fan you need to understand the voices that are in your head saying you’re not good enough and drown them out with more positivity saying, yes you can do this, you are worthy, you’re strong, without turning into a narcissist i must add.
Be strong, be self caring, be self supportive if you feel you don’t have those around you to tell you so.
In my Next Blog I write a letter to a friend getting something off my chest that i honestly don’t think i can say to them face to face.